he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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