We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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