when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
