This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My breasts were aching with rage.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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