What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
