So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We're too hungover to prance.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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