She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
