Ambien. No doubt about it.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
it hurts more in the daytime
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
