he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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