nutella sex= disaster
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize