my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
