I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
