he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
