Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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