Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
