Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
