I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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