this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
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