I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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