Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
