I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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