All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
