Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
