I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
