It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
