I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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