She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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