But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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