Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
