this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
