I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize