I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
