i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
