Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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