I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
