i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize