I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Sponge bath it is.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
