in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
