All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
