I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize
