first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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