I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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