would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
