I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
