We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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