Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
