Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
