Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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