never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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