just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
