There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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