ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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