it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
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