Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
