i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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