A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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