Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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