I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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