It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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