I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
