can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
