Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
