Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
