...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
