So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
