He told me they were just razor bumps!
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
