To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize